“Shall I tell u what it is…Imam Malik Rahimahullah says…an Aalim and Aalima is KUF for anyone. (KUF is an Islamic Marriage Term meaning “Suitable”)
So..what I was thinking about the other day straight after lesson. I was just sitting there and I was thinking about this and I was thinking to myself, a few marriage problems came to me and I was about to counsel them.
And I was thinking: why is it, if their is a problem in a marriage its always between WORKING-CLASS MEN, you’ll never see, hardly ever. Well ah, I mean, this is my personal experience. I’ve only done 30 cases but out of these cases never RETIRED-MEN who are having problems. Its always working class men.
So I thought to myself…
the hardest thing for a man is to take his professional life…
and when he comes home…
to mellow down…
and have family life.
I was thinking to myself generally men can’t relate their professional life with their private life at home.
Hence, that boils up inside them so there’s no appreciation from the husband or the wife which leads to arguments.
So then I thought to myself:
Its key to marry someone who APPRECIATES your profession so that you have no problems in marriage.
That is probably why Imam Malik Rahimahullah said an Aalim and Aalim are KUF for everyone. Because they UNDERSTAND and APPRECIATE everyones EFFORTS, they know who brings what to the table.
So that could be one element of his qawl/saying, obviously outwardly it looks like bcuz of their knowledge but a deeper thought would be as I explained.
“Ye leekh Lena ye kisi kitab main naaahi milega aapko.”
Wow… Subhanallah, Jazakallahu Khairun for your exclusive words of wisdom… surely I’ve got them written and will be remembered forever. ♥
Oh Noooooo there we go again.. this topic has been driving me crazy. Marriage and me somehow just never end up liking each other. When marriage shows up I RUN for my life without looking back. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m not ready. Maybe I’m just not expecting it. Maybe things need to go differently.
So the above words of wisdom is something I can use to back me up in my arguments. Bcuz some thick skull headed people just think an Aalima has to get married to an Aalim, & nothing lower & vice-versa.
A persons qualifications such as a Haafiz or Moulana doesnt mean that they better than one whose not the above.
A man whose not a Molana can have as many good qualities as one. He may even know more and as long as he has Deen and can make me happy and provide for me and my children he is an awesome guy to get married to.
InshaAllaah May Allaah grant us a pious spouse who will always be there for us love us and will bring us closer to Allaah InshaAllaah Aameen.
P.S. No matter what. I’m still praying and making tonns of Duas for my ‘Prince Charming/ مولانا,’ “…where art thou…???”
P.S.S. sorry to all my blog readers. Please make me Maaf for not posting since a week. Was busy & very sick to the extent of not even being able to move and was caught with a constant fever n flu. Alhumdulillah way better know.