{14} …Part 5

“1 day u’ll jus b a memory 4 sum ppl. Do ur best 2 b a good 1.” 

I feel like “PLUVIOPHILE;” a lover of rain, someone who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days, someone who has a fondness for or desire for rain!

I have many fantasies in the rain. Thinking about US… I want to go for a walk, hand in hand on this rainy day, really in the mood of that… Dil to bahot chahta hai….

When its raining, I don’t like to sleep much because, it turns into a dream world for me. I dream a lot, having dreams are nice if they good ones. Or else I’d rather wish to be awake because of the Ajeeb dreams.

Subhanallah! Its raining, Allaah’s Rahmah/Mercy is descending, blessed Angels are bringing down the droplets of water along with some light snow. Duaas are being accepted. What more can we ask from Allaah, except that He gives us guidance on the straight path, along with steadfastness. Oh……. and not to forget making duaa, for my ‘Prince Charming/ مولانا.’

“Dua or prayer involves intention, expectation, conviction and most importantly commitment to do whatever you can, to make whatever you want, into a reality.”

Saturday: There were few families who went for Hajj, so they decided to invite one person/ few people/ or whole families to the Masjid Hall, to have Zam Zam & Khajoor, along with Dinner, so that everyone will just meet them at one time (around 500+ people were invited). I was invited also, the 6th sense was kicking in, telling me something’s going to happen. I didn’t want to go, but I had no excuse but to go. So I went……and as soon as I was about to put my foot down to go downstairs……I wish there was something called a rewind button, or an invisible button, I wanted to disappear. My heart just skipped a beat, my mood went off, I froze, not knowing what to do. Why? Just why? I wanted to run! Khair, there wasn’t much I could do, except I wish I never went, and I had to go through the long 5 mins. Which felt like torture, all over again, like as if a knife was struck in my heart and slowly pulled out….

The way I dress noone else does in the community, so I’m quite noticeable, people just tend to recognize me, no matter where I go, someone or the other will haunt me down. The worst is, forget the way I dress, when I ask people how they recognized me, they will tell me either of the two; your eyes, or your walk! 

“The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.”

People make a lot of Nazar, just one eye, is enough. It is said that one of the causes of Death is Nazar. So to avoid it, we can pray our Duaas, take Duaas of others, Pray Manzil, etc.- these things are perfect to read. 

I met a lot of people, must of been over 350+ women & girls. Our Families, Friends & the people of the town, etc. were all there. I don’t like to go to these gatherings, namely because the Guji women go to these gatherings ONLY to find a bride, and to socialize. You find the gossip Auntys, and the ladies who stare at you top to bottom, it would actually scare you. So you want to know the best thing that I do? How I actually get away from the minds of these auntys…..who ask me ‘beta, how old are you?’ I just put a ring in my ring finger, and make it very visible to them when they do Salaam to me…it will stop every aunty from asking ……. Hehe, But sometimes… unfortunately it doesn’t work, it becomes even worse. So I saw some auntys that I ran away from, I tried avoiding but actually ended up meeting them. And then there were some other very obvious auntys who would look at me, smile like the words behind it was ‘I want you for my son’ and then whisper very loudly whilst nudging the aunty beside her: eh Kon chai//who is that? 

Everything happens for a reason, live it, love it, learn from it! Make your smile change the world, but don’t let the world change your smile. O Allaah if I’ve hurt others, give me the strength to apologize. If people hurt me, give me the strength to forgive. Aameen. In life Allaah tests us, sometimes, what we want, isn’t always what we get, but in the end, what we get, is so much better than what we wanted. The only ONE, who can truly satisfy the heart, is the ONE who created it.

In life, you’ll realize there’s a role for everyone you meet. Some will test you. Some will use you. Some will love you, and some will teach you. But the ones who are truly important are the ones who bring out the best in you. They are the rare and amazing people who remind you why its worth it.  

When we have a good heart, we: help, love, trust, give, too too much….and it always seems that we’re hurt the most. No matter the amount a person can hurt me, I just want that at the end of the day, there’s a smile on their face because of happiness. Not knowing that my hearts been shattered into bits n pieces, but I’ve still managed to light up that smile on them, hiding away the pain. We can close our eyes, to the things we don’t want to see, but we can’t close our heart to the things we don’t want to feel.

P.S. Its all things dealing with marriage, which I detest a lot, Eish..it can be really depressing. Its very sensitive too..InshaAllah soon all this will come to an end. I’m just in search of my ‘Prince Charming/ مولانا.’ May Allaah keep all the couples happy! Aameen.