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Part 0/ZERO-value!!!

“…since every1 says im too sweet…ammm wel i think i always have a smile…like to b perfect in everything i do…like helping ppl wherever & best possible i can, & being kindhearted…..always neat & smart in my dressing & appearance….love perfume & nice aroma….very systematic & organised in everything i do….dont like following others in their choices but prefer following my own preferences even if its different from the rest……ammm i think this will do…?” (These aren’t my words, but I can assure you this can fit to be a brief intro about me, shukrun for this beautiful description, I promise I couldn’t of said it better.)

Welcome! ”Ahlan Wa Sahlan” to my Blog!

P.S. “Part Zero” …ammm nooo this isn’t the ending of my blog; it’s simply the beginning… This blog speaks not only about me but in general ‘its the lay out of a person’s ability, courage and strength of ‘a spirit to continue,’ whilst facing and coping well, despite of all the difficulties; hence, in such a smooth way that a person can recover quickly and spring back into shape after bending and stretching for miles filled of difficult situations.’ I hope parts 157 to 150 were interesting enough in order for you to continue your read of my blog…if you ain’t liking it then get off of it! Lol. Don’t hate, appreciate. So here we go!!!

PART ZERO! ‘Zero the Hero’ when used AFTER digits. They usually say ZERO doesn’t have a value, I say, be any digit from 1 to 9 BeFoRe ZERO and you’ll ‘spicen’ up life by being a means of value for the Zeros to follow after you.. The simplest example I’ll give:

*If u have a 1 & then Three zeros there is a value ($1000)!

*But remove the 1 and the remaining Three zeros will remain with no value ($000)

*Or put a 1 after the Three zeros still the value will be 1 no matter how many zeros you put before it ($0001)!

So the digit 1 is our life, be a digit before zero, and those after will have meaning and value. And if we won’t be the digit before zero then the people in our life won’t be of any value. By giving this example everyone has a value, we have to realize that, but only if we want to value others. 

Ouchhhhh…Innaa Lillah! So what do you do when you don’t feel like doing anything except staying in bed?? First of all, the weather is soo England like (no offence (british) / offense (US) to followers from England, yup people from England are & will read), however, its very gloomy, rainy, and foggy… There weather has left an effect on me since 04′ my stop to Holiday Inn for a night in London…so I can’t forget but remember them in days like today & those to follow. “Maaf to Englander’s! Hahah, lol, its like the South African Maaf, you push someone off the cliff and say Maaf..ahahaha” {Please don’t kill me ♥}

These days & nights are filled with soo many events there’s soo much on my mind..last night fell asleep all of a sudden and only woke up to a neck and head that can’t turn either ways! (Wishing for a nice massage) I just wish someone can take a hammer and hit it, like its a pain I can’t explain. But Alhumdulillah, its not as worse as a tooth ache (you have to agree with me on this). Still, it kills can’t even move it, Don’t even know how I’m typing this, so difficult to even offer Salaah especially the Salaams to end Salaah. Ish, I think a vein has been blocked or something, I don’t know I’m not a doctor… Shukr, it never happened yesterday, or else everyone at the pot dinner would of twisted and turned my head to make me pain more.  Allahu Akbar! At times like this we can only truly appreciate the power of Allaah and thank him for not making us paralyzed. I wish I can cry myself off to sleep, so the pain can go away, but that just won’t happen. (Well, sensitive and emotional is also me! Can cry for many things, so don’t hurt me!) Btw, a tear is made out of 1% water and 99% feelings. I feel like this is another test from Allaah, Allaah doesn’t burden a soul more pain than its cable of bearing. As long as there is someone in the sky, to protect me, there is no one on earth who can break me. So this neck pain is the cause of me writing the following, let’s continue. 

As the days go by, even after few months, what people say can really still hurt a lot, it just stays freshly embedded in the Heart and mind, and every time it just keeps refreshing… “The Wound Of The Tongue Is Worse Than The Wound Of The Sword, For The Wound Of The Sword Can Heal, But The Wound Of The Heart Can Not” …sometimes what the old people say is indeed really true, and not merely just a myth or the ‘sayings of the old ones.’ “When someone is not your own, they will always hurt you, especially out of jealousy.” They will sweet talk you, get you to do favors one after the other, and then once your out of sight speak things that will strike you like a bolt of lightning. “When someone offends me, I think its a gift from Allaah. He (swt) is teaching me humility.” 

Imagine this: you L♥√ع  someone soo much, but in return they don’t show their love not even a tad-bit, and worse than that, they can’t even defend you, when others are speaking ill of you! You get pushed further and further away, you get accused of doing actions that you’ve never heard of before, and they still have the audacity to pretend as if nothing happened. Sometimes I wonder do you even have a heart??? If only you knew how much I’d cry for you to be closer to me, but Allaah knows what’s best, He is the only one who knows the strength of my love for you. Allaah is my witness that although I couldn’t fulfill your rights, whatever little I can, I’ll still try. You hold someone so dear, so near to your heart, others interfere in the middle cutting off all relations, and you accept that??? It seems like a cover has been put over your heart and mind.

Maybe you do love me a lot! How do I know? But it seems to me otherwise, like Why do you hate me soo much, can’t you be here for me one day, or even a moment??? That’s all I’m asking for! Tears rolling down, and a heart so full of sorrow and pain, whilst making duaa for you. No matter what others will say and do…always remember: “When I secretly tell you ‘I L♥√ع  you’ I don’t say it out of habit, I say it to remind you that I’m the best thing that ever happened to you.” May Allaah make it easy for me to continue bearing and for you to understand and realize…its never too late. You may of been the digit first, when others stepped in you got left as zero only, so now I will be the digit first and give value to you, and the others under you for the Sake of Allaah. There is only soo much a person can tolerate. Too many tears flowed out today, needing a shoulder to cry on, maybe if ‘Prince Charming/ مولانا’ was here, life would of being different, Khair, I’ve put a rock on my heart and shukr, I’m still going on!

‘Tired,’ isn’t even a temporary state for me anymore, its just an inherent part of my personality at this point. So what did I do when I didn’t feel like doing anything except to stay in bed I blogged.. And I’m going to stop here, cuz every move I make or finger I move it kills. I can’t absolutely do anything, too much pain, can’t move, sleep or type, and I think a neck ache is turning into a body ache along with a increasing fever! Btw, I’ve got the worlds bestest, sweetest & cutest NANI, I think she gets it from me, ℓ♡ℓ just kidding I inherit a lot from her even my beauty, hehe ℓ♡ℓ, no actually no one is as beautiful as her, Mashallah! She asks to give me a massage, although I should be doing her khidmat, may Allaah give her a long, happy, healthy life, Aameen, peace, remember me in your duaas. Don’t expect me to be around, as in don’t wait for a post, Unless if I’m better.

10:10pm-Anyone for ketchup chips & South African Chocolate (I’m sure it’ll make us smile)???